Welcome to Emerge
Abuser Education
|
During our abuser education groups, we examine the harmful behavior that abusers have chosen throughout their relationships in order to improve their relationships with others.
This section of our website is dedicated to outlining what happens in Emerge group sessions, how to enroll, specific group rules and information as well as our hopes for people who come for services. Emerge is one of 17 certified programs in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. In Massachusetts, programs such as Emerge are called Batterer Intervention, but we try to be clear that this terminology does not speak to the services we provide. The term “batterer” often has very negative connotations and is typically defined as someone who repeatedly physically abuses their partner. In fact, many people who have come to Emerge report that they have not been physically abusive, but have been quite emotionally, verbally or psychologically abusive. Despite the fact that these forms of abuse are not physical in nature, we challenge group members to recognize that they are still harmful and in fact can destroy relationships. People coming to Emerge are asked to recognize how they have chosen such behavior as a pattern in their relationships and families and how those choices have harmed others. Approximately 20% of clients at Emerge are self-referred, although we still see many people who are referred by the court systems or through child protective services (Department of Children and Families). For more information, or to discuss any of these points, please contact our office by phone or e-mail, or come to one of our open orientation appointments, described under the “Enrolling at Emerge” tab to the right. |
Harmful Behavior
What counts as harmful behavior?
In general, harmful behavior constitutes any action which causes pain or harm in someone else. As you can imagine, there is an infinite number of actions which have the potential to cause pain or harm, and many of those actions are not necessarily intentional. At Emerge, we look at both intentional and unintentional actions which may become a harmful pattern of behavior.
The following list contains some examples of harmful, abusive, controlling, and violent behavior, as well as the effects that this behavior may have caused. If you have done anything on this list to a partner, chances are that you understand the damage that these actions can cause. At Emerge we ask group members to identify how they have harmed others so that they can work to keep it from happening again.
What counts as harmful behavior?
In general, harmful behavior constitutes any action which causes pain or harm in someone else. As you can imagine, there is an infinite number of actions which have the potential to cause pain or harm, and many of those actions are not necessarily intentional. At Emerge, we look at both intentional and unintentional actions which may become a harmful pattern of behavior.
The following list contains some examples of harmful, abusive, controlling, and violent behavior, as well as the effects that this behavior may have caused. If you have done anything on this list to a partner, chances are that you understand the damage that these actions can cause. At Emerge we ask group members to identify how they have harmed others so that they can work to keep it from happening again.
- Have you ever hit, pushed, grabbed, threatened, frightened or intimidated your partner?
- Is your partner afraid of you?
- Are your children afraid of you?
- Are you concerned that your behavior is harming your relationship?
- Have you broken promises about changing behavior?
- Have you ever punched a wall, banged a table, or broken something during a disagreement?
- Have you ever grabbed your partner during a disagreement, attempted to stop her/him from leaving, locked her/him out, or restrained her/him in any way?
- Do you pressure your partner to do things your way, even when you know your partner doesn’t want to?
- Has your partner ever said ‘you’re always trying to control me’?
- Do you use names, put-downs or swearing to control your partner?
- Do you put the blame onto your partner for things you are responsible for?
- Have you found yourself ‘keeping score’ of the wrongs your partner has done to you in order to hold those things against her/him?
- Have you ever blamed your abusive actions on alcohol, other drugs, stress or family problems?
- Have you cheated on your partner or been sexually abusive in other ways?
- Have you ever been accused of mistreating your children?
- Are you concerned that your children are being emotionally or psychologically harmed because of the way you treat your partner?
- Has your partner complained about jealous or possessive behavior on your part?
- When you do something that hurts your partner, do you just say “I’m sorry” and then expect acceptance of your apology without making any change in how you were hurtful?
- u know your partner doesn’t want to?
- Has your partner ever said ‘you’re always trying to control me’?
- Do you use names, put-downs or swearing to control your partner?
- Do you put the blame onto your partner for things you are responsible for?
- Have you found yourself ‘keeping score’ of the wrongs your partner has done to you in order to hold those things against her/him?
- Have you ever blamed your abusive actions on alcohol, other drugs, stress or family problems?
- Have you cheated on your partner or been sexually abusive in other ways?
- Have you ever been accused of mistreating your children?
- Are you concerned that your children are being emotionally or psychologically harmed because of the way you treat your partner?
- Has your partner complained about jealous or possessive behavior on your part?
- When you do something that hurts your partner, do you just say “I’m sorry” and then expect acceptance of your apology without making any change in how you were hurtful?
Goals for Group Members
If you are interested in enrolling in our program, our group sessions and orientations for heterosexual men are held weekly at our office at 388 Pleasant Street, Suite 204 in Malden, MA 02148.
During orientation, you will fill out paperwork and learn more about Emerge. The appointment is about 90 minutes long. Please show up on time or a few minutes early, or you may not be allowed into orientation. Do not bring partners, children, or anyone else with you.
You will be expected to begin group sessions the following week, unless you request a different start date. If you are required to provide someone with proof of enrollment, you may ask your orientation leader for a letter that verifies your attendance.
Goals
- Immediately stop physical abuse and intimidation
- Recognize and describe how you have been harmful towards your partner and family
- Understand the harm this behavior has caused
- Develop an understanding of how you have benefited from your behavior in the past and how you can benefit from changing your behavior now
- Work to be open and honest with group leaders and fellow group members
- Be able to identify ongoing harmful behavior
- Be able to stop comparing your current behavior to past behavior that was more harmful
- Examine what you need to do to become respectful and non-abusive
- Participate during group discussions
- Give feedback to fellow group members
- Identify what is the most helpful feedback for you to hear from others
- Work to develop empathy for your partner and make amends for harm you’ve caused
Enrolling at Emerge
If you are interested in enrolling in our program, our group sessions and orientations for heterosexual men are held weekly at our office at 388 Pleasant Street, Suite 204 in Malden, MA 02148.
During orientation, you will fill out paperwork and learn more about Emerge. The appointment is about 90 minutes long. Please show up on time or a few minutes early, or you may not be allowed into orientation. Do not bring partners, children, or anyone else with you.
You will be expected to begin group sessions the following week, unless you request a different start date. If you are required to provide someone with proof of enrollment, you may ask your orientation leader for a letter that verifies your attendance.
The orientation fee is $25. Enter the name of the person who will be attending, and the click the button below to make a secure payment for an orientation session. If you do not pay online, you will need to bring $25 in cash or a money order to orientation. You must also bring proof of income (such as a pay stub).
During orientation, you will fill out paperwork and learn more about Emerge. The appointment is about 90 minutes long. Please show up on time or a few minutes early, or you may not be allowed into orientation. Do not bring partners, children, or anyone else with you.
You will be expected to begin group sessions the following week, unless you request a different start date. If you are required to provide someone with proof of enrollment, you may ask your orientation leader for a letter that verifies your attendance.
The orientation fee is $25. Enter the name of the person who will be attending, and the click the button below to make a secure payment for an orientation session. If you do not pay online, you will need to bring $25 in cash or a money order to orientation. You must also bring proof of income (such as a pay stub).
You may pick from one of the two open appointment times:
WEDNESDAYS 6:00 PM
THURSDAYS 12 NOON
THURSDAYS 12 NOON
LGBT, women’s, and Spanish-speaking orientations are by appointment only. Please call our office for more information.
Name of Attendee:
What Happens in Groups
At Emerge, group sessions are divided into two stages. Each stage has a different format, both of which are described below.
*GROUP MEMBERS ARE EXPECTED TO BE VIOLENCE-FREE TOWARD THEIR PARTNERS AND CHILDREN WHILE ATTENDING EMERGE*
If you have additional questions about what happens during group sessions at Emerge, ask your orientation leader or call or e-mail our office.
Stage One (8 group sessions)
During the first eight group sessions, Emerge provides an educational group model. We have two group leaders who facilitate group discussions and educational material on eight separate topics relating to domestic violence. Group members are expected to participate and consider how this educational information fits into their own relationships.
Also during this stage, group members participate in “short check-ins” every week, describing what went on during their week and taking time to consider and discuss particular arguments or challenging conversations they had in their relationships. The “short check-ins” do not take up as much time during the first stage as they do later in the program, but they are an opportunity for group members to practice being a part of a group and identifying things group members need to work on in their relationships.
On two occasions during the first stage, group members are asked to do a “long check-in.” This “long check-in” consists of a “short check-in” as well as the details of group members’ most recent harmful, abusive or violent behavior toward their partner or family. Group members typically do “long check-ins” on their third and their eighth session.
At the end of eight sessions, we write a report about group members’ participation, attendance, and appropriateness for the Emerge program. Our expectation at Emerge is that all group members will identify ways they have been harmful towards their partners or families by the end of the first stage. Group members who are unable to identify such behavior will not be appropriate for our program.
Stage Two (32 group sessions)
During this stage, group is more interactive. Group members spend much more time discussing their “short check-ins” and give more detail about what is going on in their relationships. These groups are open-ended, so there are typically group members that range in experience from their 9th to 40th group session. Group members should become better at giving feedback and talking about what they have learned while at Emerge.
Group members also complete individually focused activities such as a “relationship history” and “goals.” In a relationship history, group members answer 14 questions about each significant relationship they have been in, and fellow group members give feedback and ask questions. We look for patterns of behavior that can be changed so that group members may become a more respectful partners and parents.
Other individual activities include completing “goals.” Group members write goals they know they need to work on in order to stop their harmful behavior and become more respectful. While one person does this, the rest of the group comes up with goals for that person based on what they have learned about this person over time. Another activity involves a “self-evaluation,” where group leaders ask questions to help group members assess their progress in the program in terms of becoming non-abusive, less alienating, and more sensitive and respectful to their partners and children.
*GROUP MEMBERS ARE EXPECTED TO BE VIOLENCE-FREE TOWARD THEIR PARTNERS AND CHILDREN WHILE ATTENDING EMERGE*
If you have additional questions about what happens during group sessions at Emerge, ask your orientation leader or call or e-mail our office.
Stage One (8 group sessions)
During the first eight group sessions, Emerge provides an educational group model. We have two group leaders who facilitate group discussions and educational material on eight separate topics relating to domestic violence. Group members are expected to participate and consider how this educational information fits into their own relationships.
Also during this stage, group members participate in “short check-ins” every week, describing what went on during their week and taking time to consider and discuss particular arguments or challenging conversations they had in their relationships. The “short check-ins” do not take up as much time during the first stage as they do later in the program, but they are an opportunity for group members to practice being a part of a group and identifying things group members need to work on in their relationships.
On two occasions during the first stage, group members are asked to do a “long check-in.” This “long check-in” consists of a “short check-in” as well as the details of group members’ most recent harmful, abusive or violent behavior toward their partner or family. Group members typically do “long check-ins” on their third and their eighth session.
At the end of eight sessions, we write a report about group members’ participation, attendance, and appropriateness for the Emerge program. Our expectation at Emerge is that all group members will identify ways they have been harmful towards their partners or families by the end of the first stage. Group members who are unable to identify such behavior will not be appropriate for our program.
Stage Two (32 group sessions)
During this stage, group is more interactive. Group members spend much more time discussing their “short check-ins” and give more detail about what is going on in their relationships. These groups are open-ended, so there are typically group members that range in experience from their 9th to 40th group session. Group members should become better at giving feedback and talking about what they have learned while at Emerge.
Group members also complete individually focused activities such as a “relationship history” and “goals.” In a relationship history, group members answer 14 questions about each significant relationship they have been in, and fellow group members give feedback and ask questions. We look for patterns of behavior that can be changed so that group members may become a more respectful partners and parents.
Other individual activities include completing “goals.” Group members write goals they know they need to work on in order to stop their harmful behavior and become more respectful. While one person does this, the rest of the group comes up with goals for that person based on what they have learned about this person over time. Another activity involves a “self-evaluation,” where group leaders ask questions to help group members assess their progress in the program in terms of becoming non-abusive, less alienating, and more sensitive and respectful to their partners and children.
Group Rules |
|
At Emerge, our main expectation is the practice of respectful communication. We expect group members to communicate with us not only about what is going on in their relationships, but also about absences and payment of fees. Specific group rules are listed below.
Attendance
We expect every group member to attend every group session. We understand that may not always be possible due to illness, transportation issues, work, and other issues that might come up during the 40 sessions.
If group members have to miss a group session, we expect them to call us (or e-mail us) at least 24 hours before the group starts to let us know that they cannot attend. Their message should include their name, group day and time, and the reason they are unable to attend group. We allow ONE absence every eight weeks, for which we consider not charging the group member. A second absence within an eight week period is charged at the regular group rate.
A THIRD absence within an eight week period could result in an attendance contract or termination from the program. This decision is based on whether the group member has been communicating with us on a regular basis, and we take life circumstances into consideration.
As the Boston area is known for having particularly difficult transportation issues, Emerge allows a 15-minute grace period for group attendance. As long as group members are in the group no more than 15 minutes late, there is no penalty. However, if group members are more than 15 minutes late, they will not be allowed into the session. They will be charged for the missed session, and their absence will be counted as a “no-show.”
Fee Payment
We expect group members to pay their balance weekly. Group members may not fall behind more than TWO group payments. If group members fall behind more than two group payments, they may not be allowed to attend group sessions until the balance is paid.
Group fees are based on a sliding-fee scale, which is determined after program orientation by a group supervisor. We expect group members to notify us if income changes occur (such as obtaining employment, losing employment, job raises or demotions), so that the fee can be adjusted accordingly.
Clients may pay for the Abuser Education program with cash, money orders, or credit card.
General Expectations
Emerge is not a substance abuse counseling agency. As such, we do not expect absolute abstinence from alcohol or other drugs during the time in the program. However, we expect group members not to use alcohol or drugs 24 hours before their group session, during the two hours of the session, and 24 hours after the session. If it is determined that a group member has substance abuse issues, we may require absolute abstinence or an evaluation and treatment at a substance abuse clinic.
Emergency closing (due to snow, bad weather, or other emergencies) will be announced on the 617-547-9879 voicemail number.
We expect group members to be respectful towards each other and group leaders. Group members who are not respectful will be asked to leave the group and may risk termination from the program.
We also expect group members to respect each other’s confidentiality by not describing other group members outside of the group. Group members can speak to their friends and family about what they are learning and how they are working to change.
Group Times
Emerge Abuser Education groups take place during morning and evening hours on several different days of the week, and groups are offered in English and Spanish. Unless otherwise indicated, all groups take place at Emerge's Malden office. You must complete an orientation session and enroll in the program before you may attend a group. Our group times, listed by language and stage, are detailed below:
English – Stage One
Spanish – Stage Two
Emerge Abuser Education groups take place during morning and evening hours on several different days of the week, and groups are offered in English and Spanish. Unless otherwise indicated, all groups take place at Emerge's Malden office. You must complete an orientation session and enroll in the program before you may attend a group. Our group times, listed by language and stage, are detailed below:
English – Stage One
- Tuesdays 11AM to 1PM
- Thursdays 5:45PM to 7:45PM
- Wednesdays 5PM to 7PM (Jamaica Plain)
- Tuesdays 11AM to 1PM
- Wednesdays 6PM to 8PM (Cambridge)
- Thursdays 6PM to 8PM
- Thursdays 8PM to 10PM
Spanish – Stage Two
- Wednesdays 7PM to 9PM (Jamaica Plain)
- By Appointment Only
- By Appointment Only
- By Appointment Only
Group Locations
Emerge holds most group sessions at our main office in Malden. However, our Spanish-speaking groups meet in Jamaica Plain. Additionally, our Wednesday Night Second Stage Group in English meets at the Swedenborg Chapel in Cambridge. All locations are accessible by public transportation, and directions are listed below.
MALDEN
388 Pleasant St., Suite 204
Malden, MA 02148
Our Malden office is accessible by the T via the Malden Center stop on the Orange Line. It is approximately a 5-minute walk by exiting the stop out the west exit and following Centre Street as it turns into Pleasant Street. We are across the street from First Parish in Malden church and Beebe School. Many MBTA bus routes also serve Malden Center, and the Orange Line connects to all other train lines in downtown Boston.
CAMBRIDGE (Wednesday Night Second Stage Only)
Swedenborg Chapel
50 Quincy St.
Cambridge, MA 02138
Our Wednesday night Second Stage group takes place at Swedenborg Chapel near Harvard Square. It is a short walk from the Harvard Square stop on the Red Line. Many MBTA buses also serve Harvard Square, and the Red Line connects to the Green and Orange Lines in downtown Boston.
JAMAICA PLAIN (Spanish Speaking Only)
Hosted by Curtis Hall Community Center
20 South Street
Jamaica Plain, MA 02130
MALDEN
388 Pleasant St., Suite 204
Malden, MA 02148
Our Malden office is accessible by the T via the Malden Center stop on the Orange Line. It is approximately a 5-minute walk by exiting the stop out the west exit and following Centre Street as it turns into Pleasant Street. We are across the street from First Parish in Malden church and Beebe School. Many MBTA bus routes also serve Malden Center, and the Orange Line connects to all other train lines in downtown Boston.
CAMBRIDGE (Wednesday Night Second Stage Only)
Swedenborg Chapel
50 Quincy St.
Cambridge, MA 02138
Our Wednesday night Second Stage group takes place at Swedenborg Chapel near Harvard Square. It is a short walk from the Harvard Square stop on the Red Line. Many MBTA buses also serve Harvard Square, and the Red Line connects to the Green and Orange Lines in downtown Boston.
JAMAICA PLAIN (Spanish Speaking Only)
Hosted by Curtis Hall Community Center
20 South Street
Jamaica Plain, MA 02130
PAYMENTS
Emerge uses PayPal, a highly recognized and secure online payment service. All payments made to Emerge through this site are handled by their secure servers. No information Emerge receives will be sold to others. When clicking on the “Add To Cart” button, this item will be saved on a PayPal cookie, and when you click on the “View Cart” button you will be redirected to a secure PayPal payment server.
If you wish to make a payment to Emerge, click on the button below.
In the notes section of the payment, write your group day and time as well as your name (or the name of our client, if you are not our client).
If you wish to make a payment to Emerge, click on the button below.
In the notes section of the payment, write your group day and time as well as your name (or the name of our client, if you are not our client).